That’s right, I, Adam Kuert, being of seemingly sound mind and body, received the letter ‘F’ on my 8th grade physical education skills test.  The reason? A genetic inability to touch my toes.  Oh, the shame I brought to my family.  The idea that my chances of attending university had been slighted by an inelastic predisposition of certain major muscle groups, namely the hamstrings, was quite devastating to the simplistic ideals of a 14yr old.

Well, tonight, after a brief workout…I attempted the unattainable task once more…only this time I was met with momentary success: a brief glimpse into the limber lives of the exceedingly extensible elite.

To those by whose wisdom was inscribe such a stigma upon the life of a child, I say, “I did it. So there.”

To those who may yet carry such a burden, I give this sage advise: “I was accepted to a major university that had similar skills testing with completely different standards, from which I received a symbolic degree that had little to do with getting my sweet new job, so don’t stress”.

Peace